she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We were destined to go to rehab together
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
