It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I wish I only lived at night.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
