Dual....:-)
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
