Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
