a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
The best revenge is premature balding
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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