You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
