i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
