i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
