I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
