P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
