just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I believe in your delicious
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
