My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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