It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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