Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
