Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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