So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
