Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
