she looked like the before picture.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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