Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
