i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
