We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
