You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
