There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Randomize
