so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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