Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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