That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
