Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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