all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
