WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
