just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize