the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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