Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize