I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
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