What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
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