please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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