I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Even my vagina gasped.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
