How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
