Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
