i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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