yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
