Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
