Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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