Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
