you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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