Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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