Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
