Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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