dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Operation Purity has been aborted
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Randomize
