Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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