Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
