Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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