...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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