Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
This baby is an asshole
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
