Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize