girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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