I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Ladies don't puke and tell
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
