I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
