I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We need to rekindle our bromance
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
