tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We have started to decorate penises.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
