Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
