Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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