No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
