No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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