first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
