i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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