just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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